I have never been one for small talk. I just don’t understand the point of it. When I meet a new person I want to delve into who they are and the life journey they have experienced to date. Even my close friends will tell you, I would choose a deep and meaningful conversation over a light-hearted chat any day. As you can imagine I am not the best company at parties!


I find the workings of the human spirit fascinating. Every opportunity I have to speak to a person is an opportunity to explore the topic first hand. Hearing others personal perspective and intimate experience of life, opens our mind and allows us to see the world from a different standpoint. Sharing our own honest personal perspective and intimate experience can also be a gift to others.


The word of the moment is ‘influencer’ and in my opinion, you don’t need thousands of followers on social media to be one. If you are able to support just one person by giving of yourself, you have changed and had an influence on the world. This is a gift that should not be taken lightly and at all times used mindfully. Everything you say from the heart will be received by the heart of another person, it is a power for good we all have the ability to use. The only catch is that it requires you to go deep, be vulnerable and share of yourself honestly.


What does that mean?


Small talk is not deep, it requires no level of vulnerability and you are sharing basically nothing real about yourself. To admit your fears, to open up and share your insecurities, to be brave enough to speak your truth and be willing to give love, even if it is unrequited, is the result of going deep, being vulnerable and sharing yourself honestly.


I had an experience not long ago that really reinforced this truth. I was at a women’s breakfast launch event and happened to be sitting at a table with an eclectic mix of fashion designers, socialites, businesswomen, and media personalities. Seated across from me was a woman who I have always been slightly intimidated by. She is successful, powerful and has always come across extremely strong.


On this occasion, she opened her heart and shared honestly the challenge of having her second child while trying to keep up appearances and an international business. Her honesty touched my heart and reminded me we all have our moments, irrespective of the public persona we often successfully maintain. As she opened her heart, all the other women around the table chimed in with their own stories of trying to juggle business success and a fulfilling family life. She used her power for good in that moment by simply being brave enough to go deep and give of herself.


If you are under any illusion that being honest and at times vulnerable, is equivalent to being weak, it is time to wake up and stop pretending. You are human and what makes you so special is the ability to experience the full spectrum of emotions. Imagine what the world would be like if we only participated in honest and open communication as opposed to being guarded and somewhat edited. Yes, you might call me naive or a daydreamer, but aren’t we here to create the world as we dream it to be.


Some might say they only open up to people they know and trust. My response to that is how many wonderful new relationships are you closed off to as a result of that attitude. My husband tends to think I have the opposite problem. I open up to most people and give freely of my inner thoughts. I have nothing to hide and yes strategically it may not always work to my advantage but as they say, the truth will always set you free. Furthermore, it is the truth and only the truth that will set others free.


Live your truth, speak your truth and at all times know you are worthwhile and you do have an influence on the world. You are too big to talk small.


Love and Magic


Carlii xx


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