A Spiritual Practice inspired by Vanity



Ever heard the expression ‘it is written all over your face’, well I would like to suggest that ugly thoughts create an ugly face. No amount of expensive designer face cream, Botox or whatever else is available, will hide thoughts of self-loathing, shame and anger (to name a few). Last week my thoughts were the ugliest they have been for a very long time and the mirror did not lie.


I sunk to my lowest of lows. I had been feeling flat for a few months and it felt as though I hit my emotional rock bottom. Nothing in particular triggered the downward spiral, it was a combination of unmet expectations, several missed opportunities work wise and a sudden realisation I am aging like the best of us (I truly wanted to believe I was immortal and convinced myself I would remain fresh faced and young forever).


I am the first to admit I was suffering from first world problems but what I felt was real. Aside from feeling physically low and emotionally out of sorts, every time I looked in the mirror I hated what I saw. I stared into the eyes of pure anger, regret, shame, hurt, sadness and pain. On this occasion the feelings were a direct result of the ugly thoughts looping inside my head.


I have dedicated much of my adult life to self-study and even in my lowest of moments; I attempt to remain aware of everything I am thinking and how it impacts me on all levels of my being. The few days I spent battling with my demons and looking worse for wear, there were five distinct and extremely ugly thoughts circling in my mind repetitively. Here they are in black and white-



  1. I am nothing
  2. I am worthless
  3. I am ugly
  4. I am old
  5. I ruin everything


As you can imagine, these horrible thoughts had a direct impact on my appearance. The usual sparkle in my eyes was no longer there, my face was the colour grey, the edge of my lips dipped down, the frown lines on my forehead became prominent and everything seemed to droop. Even my husband commented afterward that the gloomy energy literally made me look like a different person.


Several heartfelt pep talks, inspirational reading, prayer, meditation, yoga and time spent in nature (a haircut, manicure, pedicure and a little shopping) brought me back to light. I am no Robinson Crusoe; we all journey through ups and downs. I realised on this recent trip to the dark side that it actually has allot to offer. Wisdom, compassion, empathy and gratitude are only a few of the souvenirs I brought back with me. Not to mention inspiration for this blog.


We live in a society obsessed with appearances spending billions of dollars attempting to create a holy grail of youth. I am not afraid to accept my vanity and I sincerely believe there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your very best at all times. The point I am trying to make here is if you are truly dedicated to looking your best, you need to think your best. You either control your mind or it controls you. Last week I lost all control and my mind went on a wild and dangerous rampage. I did not exercise my ability to step outside of myself and recognise I was focusing on all of the wrong things.


You have the power to decide what you think and how you speak to yourself. I would also like to add, that angry, hateful and nasty thoughts directed at others have much the same effect on your physicality. Reason being on a soul level, whether you accept it consciously or not, we are all one. What you say and do to others, you are essentially saying and doing to yourself.


Aside from wanting to feel good, another incentive for thinking positive, soulful and loving thoughts about yourself, others and life in general is that it makes you look good. It is important here to note that the benchmark should be your personal best, not an airbrushed illusion of perfection.


One of my much loved go to books is Louise Hay’s ‘You can Heal your Life’. In the book there is a dedicated section listing the ways our thoughts affect our body, and how we can train our mind to ensure it is in a positive way. Here are some of the affirmations I love most-


  1. I love and approve of myself
  2. I am worthwhile
  3. I forgive myself and love myself
  4. I give myself permission to be all that I can be
  5. I am at home in my body



Imagine if every morning, as part of our beauty routine, after we have showered, put on our face and done our hair, we took a few minutes to intentionally direct our thoughts to self-love and gratitude. I would go as far as saying it is the most important part of our beauty routine, without the inner beauty, there can be no external beauty.


They say all road leads to Rome, well if Vanity Highway takes us to the higher ground of our being, then so be it. Once it becomes a habit and you experience the energetic benefits of thinking loving thoughts, looking good will only be the cherry on the big, beautiful and delicious cake of your life.


If the inevitable lines on our face were to be regarded as the map of our past, lets ensure it tells a story of love, joy and peace. Fill your mind with beautiful thoughts and your face will reflect the beauty within.



Love and Magic

Carlii xx


One Comment

  1. Carli well said
    I totally agree and unfortunately we let the routine or maybe we sometimes can call it more habit ,obligation and expectations of our lives that take over who we are without even realising.
    Yes a fresh face in the morning and a new outfit sometimes helps but when those demons are deep we have to realise and self medicate iwith our mind to fix it and that’s not always easy
    We all have those highs and lows and it’s about not being in denial of it and keep moving forward in a positive way
    Thankyou for your words of wisdom
    Hope you and family are ok
    I’m having an amazing time with your mum who is so strong and inspiring
    She may sometimes forget to wear that bra but it’s ok because she loves who she is that is only my judgment sometimes of looking good


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